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Opinion: Secret Thinker says children’s respect for authority lost after survey reveals parents place little importance on obedience

I was sat listening, fairly impassionedly, to the results from the World Values Survey, but one response really made me sit up and take notice.

The question was posed to parents, who were asked if they felt it was especially important for their children to be obedient, I.e. Do as they are told. Astonishingly only 11% answered in the affirmative.

Parents are placing less importance on ensuring their children are obedient, according to a study. Library image.
Parents are placing less importance on ensuring their children are obedient, according to a study. Library image.

So, presumably the other 89% feel, rather than following rules set for them, it’s more important for children to be free spirits, left to experiment in life and discover their own path.

When the survey was held back in 1998 more than 50% of parents felt it was important for children to be obedient and, one thing’s for sure, 25 years ago there were far less annoying tykes tearing around restaurants spoiling everyone’s evening out. So, even if we leave aside the whole controversial smacking debate, it’s easy to see why we’ve reached a point where respect for adults, or any form of authority, has largely been lost.

On the one hand you might applaud this brand of liberal, light-touch parenting which allows youngsters to develop their own personalities and ‘discover themselves’.

However, I fear the result is less to do with mum and dad taking active decisions and more to do with an abdication of responsibility.

If it really was a case of hip and trendy luvvies letting Tarquin and Arabella spread their wings it might not be so bad, but it’s actually parents switching off in order to please themselves.

Families, like any other institution or organisation, require structure, rules if you will, in order to operate effectively.

“If it really was a case of hip and trendy luvvies letting Tarquin and Arabella spread their wings it might not be so bad, but it’s actually parents switching off in order to please themselves...”

Children need to be set parameters so they know what is expected of them and they are able to take responsibility for their actions. This necessitates having leaders to set boundaries and followers to operate within them. Without this the result is chaos.

Unfortunately, when parents said they didn’t feel it was important for children to be obedient what they were actually saying was I can’t be bothered to lead and, as we all know the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree. You can be sure the next generation will follow suit by also taking the easy option and rejecting the opportunity to take the lead.

By the time the next edition of the survey is published, I fear the already pitifully low percentage of parents answering this question positively will have plummeted still further and the door to the room where chaos reigns will have been opened a little wider.

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