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Tributes to 15-year-old Thamesview School pupil from Gravesend after he took his own life

A teenager who took his own life gave no indication of feeling depressed in the lead up to his death.

Tristan Taylor, 15, who was a pupil at Thamesview School in Thong Lane, Gravesend, had appeared excited about his newly-decorated bedroom last Saturday, before chatting to his dad on the phone.

Just some of the tributes for Tristan Taylor left at Thamesview School
Just some of the tributes for Tristan Taylor left at Thamesview School
One of the many tributes left for Gravesend teenager Tristan Taylor
One of the many tributes left for Gravesend teenager Tristan Taylor

Mum Gemma Cayley-Smith and step dad Shayne McCosh, of Latona Drive, Gravesend, said: “He was really excited. He’d helped choose the decoration, but he hadn’t seen it completed until that day.”

Dad Gavin Taylor said: “We always finish our conversations telling each other we love each other. There was nothing different at all in the phone call."

Tragically, he took his own life later that day.

Last year, there had been signs Tristan was struggling with his mental health as he had self harmed, but his mum said things seemed better and if he looked like he was struggling she would always make sure they talked.

“I took him wall climbing and out for a meal just the two of us earlier in the year and we chatted on the car journey. It was really nice,” she said.

Gravesend teenager Tristan Taylor took his own life
Gravesend teenager Tristan Taylor took his own life
Tristan in his younger days
Tristan in his younger days

While Gavin said he would always sit down for a heart-to-heart with his son and encourage him to talk about his feelings.

Weekends were spent at football training - Gavin coached his son’s team - and playing in matches. Often they would head down to the beach with his sister Sophia, nine, for crabbing.

Gavin said: “He was always telling us how much he loved us. He had such a kind heart. He would always put others before himself.”

Gavin said Tristan was very popular and was always out with friends or they were knocking on his door and hanging out at his house, but "thinks maybe he didn’t realise how much he was loved.” He added: “Everyone wanted to be around him.”

Gemma said she recently found out he would ring a couple of close friends for a chat in the early hours of the morning.

Tristan with dad, Gavin
Tristan with dad, Gavin
Tristan with mum, Gemma
Tristan with mum, Gemma

"We had no idea but it is comforting that he felt he could talk to them," she said. “But he must have still felt alone.

“There was just no sign. I worried about his mental health but I never, ever thought something like this would happen.

"Tristan masked his true feelings with humour. It made him happy to make others happy."

Gavin said: “He used to have us in stitches and all his friends said he was always the one who made them smile.”

Gemma and Gavin have been encouraging Tristan’s friends to talk by standing at the school gates at the end of the day.

Tristan had done a vocational course in bricklaying at Thamesview
Tristan had done a vocational course in bricklaying at Thamesview

"Some would arrive at our house to talk and express their condolences, however for every one who turned up there would be five who couldn't do this, so we decided to go to the school to encourage them to talk instead," said Gemma.

“The kids are so mature. They come up and offer their condolences. We want to chat to them and make them feel they have someone to talk to.”

They want to promote the charities and places youngsters can go if they feel they need support, including suicide prevention charity Papyrus UK and the Samaritans.

Tristan’s friends, who span all year groups and many from other schools, have created a memorial wall on the gates of the school which they have decorated with bunches of flowers, messages and bottles of Mountain Dew – his favourite drink.

His friends are also planning to release balloons in Tristan’s memory at Higham Rec at 7pm on Saturday.

Tristan with dad, Gavin, and sister, Sophia, on a crabbing trip
Tristan with dad, Gavin, and sister, Sophia, on a crabbing trip

Friends are also hoping to raise money for a memorial bench and plan to introduce an annual memorial football match in honour of their football-loving pal.

Whilst he had lots of friends, Gavin says Tristan always had difficulties at school from when he was diagnosed with ADHD at primary school.

He added: “Teachers need to be better equipped to be able to identify and recognise when young adults are struggling and require additional support to cope.”

Thamesview head teacher George Rorke paid tribute to his former pupil, who had aspirations of using his newfound bricklaying skills acquired after studying the vocational course at school.

"Tristan was a polite and respectful student who was loved by all,” he said.

Tristan on an outing with his mum and sister
Tristan on an outing with his mum and sister

“He would always work hard to achieve his best and was a much-liked member of the school.

“He was a lovely student to teach, making sure he completed his classwork and always willing to have a laugh. He will be sorely missed by all.”

Tristan was also inspired by music and often helped his peers create and produce their own music using the school's recording studio.

Mr Rorke said counsellors had been made available to all pupils and staff while links to bereavement support websites and leaflets had been provided.

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