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Student Shynee Hewavidana from Ashford writes letter to mum apologising for accent embarrassment

A university student from Ashford has penned an open letter to her mother, apologising for being embarrassed by her Asian accent when she was younger.

Shynee Hewavidana, 20, recently published online the letter to her mum Ruvini, entitled “Dear Mum: I’m sorry I used to be embarrassed by your accent”.

The letter by the University of Cambridge student has been widely read and as a result, she was invited to speak on BBC Radio’s Asian Network. Her family have applauded her for her bravery in producing the letter.

Ruvini and Shynee Hewavidana
Ruvini and Shynee Hewavidana

Following its publication, scores of people came forward to Miss Hewavidana from all walks of life with varying accents, saying they could relate.

The letter starts by saying: “Accents are invisible. Or at least – I believed they were. Growing up in my household, I had become deaf to my parent’s strong Sri Lankan accents.

“I believed they sounded like me; eloquent, well spoken, articulate – and most importantly – English. Normal.”

She goes on to explain that at the age of 11, her mother trialled as a teaching assistant in her class, which is when she first noticed her mother’s strong Sri Lankan accent as she introduced herself, explaining: “She stuttered over a word and it felt as if the class simultaneously all nudged each other. Nothing is ever truly invisible.”

Miss Hewavidana then says that she would often try to ‘save’ her mother by correcting her words.

The letter then explains Shynee’s arrival in Cambridge, where she found her Kentish accent “being amplified for everyone to snigger at” due to its similarity to the Essex accent, which she notes has been portrayed stereotypically as ‘bimbo’ and ‘uneducated’ following the success of The Only Way is Essex (TOWIE).

She continued: “It took me far longer than I am proud of to realise that history was repeating itself.

“Now that I was the one cowering from my own accent, I realised what I had done to my mother. I had censored a fundamental part of who she was.”

"To my mother: I am sorry. Your accent is a work of art, rich and complex, crafted over centuries" - Shynee Hewavidana

She concludes the letter saying: “To my mother: I am sorry. Your accent is a work of art, rich and complex, crafted over centuries.

“It is a story of your country, culture, history and what is everything special about Sri Lanka.

“I wish I had known that to proudly speak with an accent – whether it be an Essex or Sri Lankan – when you are told not to is an act of bravery and defiance.

“Wear your brown, uncivilised, coarse accent with pride and I will not shun you. I will listen.”

Speaking to KentOnline's sister paper, the Kentish Express, Miss Hewavidana spoke about publishing the letter: “At first it was quite scary. I’m glad that it wasn’t just me that felt like that. It’s a community vibe.

“I have heard quite a lot from Eastern Europeans as well.”

Miss Hewavidana also spoke about her mother’s reaction, explaining: “She was quite surprised at first. When she heard about the teaching thing, she said it makes more sense.”

Many friends and family have come forward to both Miss Hewavidana and her mother agreeing with their emotions attached to foreign-sounding accents.

“One of her northern friends has said the same. It’s not just Sri Lankans or children of immigrants. I was quite surprised about how many people told me they felt the same as me.”

How do you feel about your accent? Leave a comment below or email kentishexpress@thekmgroup.co.uk

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